NARM®-based and trauma-informed
Couples Coaching
Trauma-informed couples coaching for couples who want to understand recurring conflicts and relational patterns, communicate more clearly and meet each other with greater honesty and compassion.
NARM®-based and trauma-informed
Couples Coaching
Trauma-informed couples coaching for couples who want to understand recurring conflicts and relational patterns, communicate more clearly and meet each other with greater honesty and compassion.
When Can Couples Coaching Be Helpful?
Couples coaching can be helpful when conflicts keep repeating or you long to deepen your connection. It offers a shared space to understand your relational dynamic and explore new possibilities for meeting one another.
you keep returning to the same conflict
one or both of you often feel misunderstood or unheard
it is difficult to express your needs or boundaries
earlier hurts continue to shape present conversations
everyday life works, but your connection feels less alive
you want to navigate a change consciously
you want to deepen your relationship
Relationship coaching can also be a way of caring for a relationship that is fundamentally stable. It can help you learn more about how you want to communicate, stay connected through differences and grow together.
Why Do We Keep Having the Same Conflict?
Recurring conflicts are often about more than the issue being discussed. In tense moments, protective patterns may become active and influence how each person experiences closeness, distance, criticism, uncertainty and their own needs.
The longing for connection may come out as criticism. The need for space may turn into withdrawal. One person may try harder to resolve the situation while the other feels increasingly pressured. The more each person tries to restore connection in their familiar way, the more the pattern between them can intensify.
These responses are not inherently wrong. They may once have helped us preserve connection with important people or cope with experiences that felt difficult or overwhelming. In a relationship today, however, the same patterns can make it harder to remain in contact with ourselves and with one another.
In our relationship coaching sessions, we slow these moments down. Together, we explore what is happening beneath your reactions, what each of you is longing for and what may be getting in the way of the relationship you want to create.
Trauma-informed couples coaching recognises that a conflict is not always caused only by the present situation. It also considers the protective patterns that may become active when either person feels hurt, afraid, unseen or under pressure.
Learn more about these patterns and my approach on the page What Is NARM®?.
How Do I Support You in Couples Coaching?
I create a space in which both perspectives can be heard without making either person the problem. My role is not to decide who is right or to give you a ready-made solution. Together, we explore what lies beneath your reactions and what each of you wants for yourselves and for your relationship.
We Focus on What Is Happening Now
Earlier experiences can be relevant, but you do not need to revisit your past in detail. We focus primarily on how your dynamic is showing up today: in your thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, impulses and the way you relate to each other in the present moment.
Neither of You Needs to Be Fixed
I work from the understanding that, beneath conflict and protective reactions, both of you may be longing for connection, respect and the freedom to be yourselves. Rather than trying to replace one behaviour with another, we become curious about what prevents you from meeting each other in the way you would genuinely like to.
Your Intentions Guide the Process
You may want to communicate more clearly, feel closer, make an important decision or find a different way of moving through conflict. Your shared intention, as well as what matters to each of you individually, helps us determine the focus of our sessions.
What Can Become Possible Through Relationship Coaching?
Couples coaching cannot guarantee a particular outcome. It can create a space in which you understand your relational dynamic more clearly, speak with greater honesty and develop more choice in difficult moments.
Possible developments may include:
recognizing recurring conflict patterns earlier
naming feelings, needs and boundaries more clearly
understanding the other person's perspective more deeply
reacting less automatically through withdrawal, attack or adaptation
staying in contact even when you disagree
making more conscious decisions about your relationship
experiencing greater closeness, aliveness or ease together
The aim is not to create a relationship without conflict. Conflict can reveal something important about what matters to each of you. What makes a difference is how you meet the conflict and one another within it.
How Does Online Couples Coaching Work?
01
Your Current Situation
You describe what is currently happening and what feels important. I make space for both perspectives and support us in developing a shared understanding of where we are beginning.
02
Exploring the Dynamic
We look more closely at specific moments. What gets activated? What happens inside each of you? How do you relate to yourselves and to each other when it happens?
03
New Possibilities
As the dynamic becomes clearer, different ways of speaking, listening and responding may emerge. New possibilities can develop through becoming more fully in contact with what is happening and with what each of you truly wants.
Why the Way We Meet Each Other Matters to Me
My former partner and I were together for almost ten years. That relationship shaped me deeply and showed me how much we can learn through relationship about closeness, conflict, vulnerability, responsibility and what it means to meet one another anew.
The ending of our relationship was also part of that learning. I experienced that love and connection do not necessarily disappear when a relationship changes its form. This experience continues to shape my work today.
My intention is not to lead you towards a particular decision. I want to support you in listening more honestly to what feels true for each of you and for your relationship.
I have supported people in trauma-informed coaching processes since 2020 and am currently completing my training as a NARM® Practitioner.
FAQs
What if One Person Is More Motivated to Try Couples Coaching?
Different levels of motivation are common. What matters is that both people participate voluntarily and are at least open to engaging in the conversation. During the free clarity call, we can explore whether couples coaching feels appropriate for both of you.
Can We Come if We Are Considering Separation?
Yes. Couples coaching can help you express different wishes honestly and talk more consciously about a possible separation. Joint sessions need to remain voluntary for both people. If your process is already moving more clearly towards ending the relationship, you can learn more about my separation support for individuals and couples.
How Many Sessions Will We Need?
That depends on your concern and your current situation. Some couples begin with a single session, while others choose a package of three or six sessions. During the free clarity call, we can discuss which format may be most appropriate for you.
How Often Do Sessions Take Place?
The rhythm depends on your needs and circumstances. Some couples begin with sessions closer together, while others use them at specific moments or leave several weeks between appointments. We can discuss a suitable rhythm during the clarity call.
Do We Need to Be in the Same Place During an Online Session?
If possible, it is helpful to join together from a quiet and private place. If you are in different locations or currently living separately, we can use the clarity call to explore whether a joint online session would still be suitable and technically workable.
What Is the Difference Between Couples Coaching and Couples Counselling?
The terms couples coaching and couples counselling are sometimes used for overlapping forms of relationship support. I describe my work as couples coaching because I do not give you advice or prescribe a solution. Together, we explore your relational dynamic, your individual and shared intentions and the possibilities that may emerge from greater awareness.
Is Couples Coaching the Same as Couples Therapy?
No. My service is coaching and does not constitute couples therapy, psychotherapy or medical treatment. It does not replace medical, psychiatric or psychotherapeutic diagnosis and treatment. I am currently completing NARM® training and integrate elements and principles of the approach according to my current level of training.
How Much Does Couples Coaching Cost?
I work with a sliding scale based on monthly gross income. My intention is to make the sessions accessible to people with different financial circumstances. The following prices offer guidance; if you are unsure which rate applies to you, you are welcome to ask.
The scale ranges from a monthly gross income below €2,000 to a monthly gross income above €4,000.
Couples sessions — 90 minutes
* Single session: €170–€220
* Package of 3 sessions: €150–€200 per session
* Package of 6 sessions: €140–€190 per session
The free 20-minute clarity call gives us an opportunity to meet, hear what brings you here and explore whether working together feels right.
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