NARM® based and trauma-informed
Trauma-Informed Coaching
I support individuals and couples in exploring what may be holding them back from living and relating in the way they truly want.
NARM® based and trauma-informed
Trauma-Informed Coaching
I support individuals and couples in exploring what may be holding them back from living and relating in the way they truly want.
COLLABORATION PARTNERS
Trauma-Informed Coaching can support with
Trauma-informed coaching can be helpful when inner conflicts or relationship patterns limit your possibilities in the present. Together, we explore what may be getting in the way of your authentic self-expression.
challenging and recurring relationship patterns
inner conflict or difficult decisions
self-criticism, shame or the feeling that something is wrong with you
insecurity or a lack of self-trust
stress, inner restlessness or overwhelm
difficulties with closeness, distance, needs or boundaries
a desire to deepen your relationship
separation, change or reorientation
a longing for relationships that feel more alive and nourishing
You do not need to know where to start. We can explore this together.
My Services
NARM®-based and trauma-informed sessions
Trauma-Informed Coaching for Individuals
In individual coaching, we explore the patterns that may be limiting your authentic self-expression, inner clarity or relationships. Your intention gives our work its direction, while your present experience and your own pace guide the process.
Couples and Relationship Coaching
In online couples coaching, you can explore recurring dynamics, communicate more clearly and deepen the connection between you. I support both of you impartially, with attention to what matters to each person and to the relationship you are creating together.
Separation Support and Conscious Uncoupling
I support individuals and couples who want to navigate the ending of a relationship with honesty, compassion and personal responsibility. The process can help you honor what your relationship has meant, understand the emotional dynamics of separation and develop agreements for the next chapter.
What Can Become Possible Through Trauma-Informed Coaching
Trauma-informed coaching creates a space in which you can notice your inner experience more clearly, understand familiar patterns and develop greater choice in how you relate to yourself and others.
Possible developments may include:
recognizing your feelings and needs more clearly
noticing recurring relational patterns earlier
sensing and expressing your boundaries more directly
reacting less automatically through withdrawal, attack or adaptation
meeting shame and self-criticism with greater compassion
understanding inner conflicts
showing yourself more honestly in relationships
experiencing greater self-trust and inner clarity
feeling more alive and connected
making decisions that feel more aligned with what matters to you
The intention is not to become an optimised version of yourself. It is to become more consciously connected with yourself and to explore who you can be beyond familiar protective patterns.
What is Trauma-Informed Coaching
Trauma-informed coaching recognises that present-day reactions and relational patterns may be connected with earlier experiences. Rather than treating these patterns as problems to solve, it explores what may be preventing you from living and relating in the way you want today.
Many responses that now limit free expression or connection may once have been intelligent forms of protection. Withdrawal may reduce the risk of being hurt again. Adaptation may help preserve attachment. Control may create a sense of safety when something feels unpredictable.
In coaching, we do not treat these reactions as failures. We meet them with curiosity and explore what they may be protecting, what you are longing for underneath them and what becomes possible on the other side of these adaptations.
Trauma-informed also means respecting your pace. I trust that there is a natural movement towards connection, aliveness and wholeness within you. We include earlier experiences only when they help us understand something that is happening in your life or relationships today.
My Principles
Curiosity Without Judgement
I meet people and their processes with curiosity rather than judgement. What matters most is the intention that brings you to the session. I see myself as a companion in your exploration, not as someone who knows what your life should look like.
Attention to What Is Essential
I enjoy getting to the heart of a dynamic without rushing the process. When you are ready, we can explore what feels most essential at a pace that remains right for you.
Clarity and Spaciousness
I aim to create a clear and spacious setting in which your experience can unfold naturally. At the same time, I remain connected with the intention that brought you into the session.
Conscious Uncoupling
Separating with Love
A separation can be one of the most tender and challenging transitions in a relationship. It may bring grief, fear, guilt, anger, confusion, or deep uncertainty.
And still, separation does not have to become cold, destructive, or disconnected.
Conscious uncoupling is a way of meeting this transition with honesty, care, and compassion, honoring what your relationship has meant, while creating space for what is true now.
In our work together, I support you in listening deeply, and navigating the emotional and relational layers of separation with clarity and compassion.
This work can support you if you are
unsure whether to stay or separate
already in a separation process
wanting to end a relationship with love
struggling with guilt, attachment, grief, anger, or fear
trying to communicate clearly without harm
wanting to honor the relationship while also letting go
looking for a conscious way to transition into a new form of connection
How We Begin
01
Free Clarity Call
We get to know each other, explore your intention and notice whether there is enough resonance for us to work together. The call lasts 20 minutes and is free of charge.
02
Choose a Package
If we both want to continue, you can book a single session or choose a package of 3 or 6 sessions. We can discuss what may fit your situation during the clarity call.
03
First Zoom Call
ndividual sessions last 60 minutes and couples sessions last 90 minutes. Each Zoom session offers a focused space for exploration, clarity and integration.
What Clients Say
John is an exceptional coach and consultant with an incredible ability to understand and clarify complex systems and relationships. He draws from a rich toolkit of conceptual frameworks and facilitation methods, making his sessions highly impactful. Above all, he is a deep listener and a skilled practitioner of non-violent communication. His unique combination of deep empathy and a strategic mindset is truly remarkable. I highly recommend John as both a trainer and consultant for anyone looking to improve leadership, company culture, or organizational dynamics. Working with John is a transformative experience!
John Lack’s conflict transformation coaching is truly insightful and empowering. His deep empathy and broad skill set in leadership and communication create a supportive space for growth and self-discovery. His approach helped me deepen my self-awareness, enhance communication, and navigate challenges with confidence. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking more authenticity, ease, and impact in their professional lives!
Conflict is likely one of the most uncomfortable topics in our lives. None of us like it, many of us avoid it. Through John, I learned how to transform these conflicts into opportunities for learning, growth and better decision-making. This shift has completely transformed the way I lead. Now I feel ready to step into them with ease, knowing I have the tools to navigate them with integrity and impact.
Working with John as a co-trainer at my academy, I experienced his deep understanding of Nonviolent Communication as a real asset to our groups. His calm and clear presence supported participants in navigating and transforming conflict. I warmly recommend him to anyone looking to grow through the challenges of human interaction.
The Role of NARM® in My Coaching
My work is NARM®-based and trauma-informed. NARM® stands for the NeuroAffective Relational Model and explores how early relational experiences, adaptive protective patterns and our relationship with ourselves may influence how we experience life today.
The focus is not on retelling or extensively processing the past. We primarily explore how a pattern appears in the present moment, including thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations and what happens in the contact between us. You may long for connection and withdraw at the same time. You may find it difficult to express a need even when you can feel it clearly. Or you may only notice much later that something did not feel right for you.
We do not try to resolve these apparent contradictions too quickly. We explore what is happening within you and what may support greater freedom and choice.
Learn more on the page What Is NARM®?.
Why I do this Work
How we relate matters. The ways we consciously and subconsciously relate to ourselves and each other shape our wellbeing, the quality of our relationships, and our experience of life.
Through many years of personal development work and training, I have experienced how much beauty, aliveness, and freedom can become available when we begin to explore the way we relate. This is why I feel deeply passionate about supporting others in this exploration.
I wrote The Art of Relating as the distilled essence of my personal development journey, with the intention of making fundamental relational skills more accessible. My latest book, Separating with Love, applies these approaches to the context of conscious uncoupling. When ending my ten-year relationship with my partner, I experienced how much love and compassion can be part of this journey. This inspired me to make this path available to others as well.
Before that, I published a series of children’s books on emotional intelligence, including Lara and the Wishbeings, to help make these skills accessible to the next generation.
My Book
The Art of Relating
The Art of Relating offers an embodied path to building healthy relationships with yourself, others and life.
How we relate to ourselves, to others and to life shapes our experience of being alive. When these relationships are healthy, it is easier to feel connected and loved. When they are not, life can feel heavy, tense or disconnected.
Through simple practices and essential insights from psychology, embodiment, trauma healing and spirituality, this book supports you in experiencing more compassion, aliveness and joy in everyday life.
Conscious Uncoupling
Separating with Love offers a path to ending a relationship with love and compassion. It is an alternative to breakups, where people get cut out of each other’s lives, emotional tension keeps lingering and resentment prevails.
How we end relationships matters. With a conscious approach, endings can open a door to compassion and connection and even transform into healing experiences that support growth.
Separating with Love provides inspiration to help you find your own authentic way of moving through separation while continuing to meet yourself and each other with love and compassion..
FAQs
What is your approach?
My approach is inspired by a wide spectrum of modalities, such as:
NARM therapy, embodiment, systemic coaching, mindfulness, nonviolent communication, creative expression, trauma-informed facilitation, voice work and movement.
What is NARM?
NARM™ (NeuroAffective Relational Model) is a neuroscience-informed approach for working with developmental trauma and deeply rooted relational patterns. Developed by Dr Laurence Heller, NARM integrates body-oriented psychotherapy, attachment research and contemporary trauma research. Rather than focusing on processing the past, it explores how old patterns may be limiting someone in the present moment and who can emerge when they no longer do.
Note: The support I offer is not psychotherapy as defined by the German Psychotherapists Act and is not a substitute for psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a mental health condition that requires treatment, seeking medical or psychotherapeutic support should be the first step.
What is the difference from traditional talk therapy?
NARM™ differs from traditional talk therapy primarily through its holistic approach. It works not only with what someone thinks or talks about, but also with what is happening in the body, such as tension, breathing and posture. Rather than focusing mainly on the past, it explores what is showing up in the present moment. NARM does not centre on what is wrong or lacking, but on the coherent self that may emerge beneath protective patterns.
Who are your sessions for?
Relationship coaching is for individuals and couples who want to create healthier relationships with themselves or each other. It may be suitable if you want to understand recurring relational patterns, communicate more clearly, become more aware of your needs and boundaries, or navigate a transition or separation.
What topics can I bring to your coaching?
Anything that's currently alive for you. Common themes include: recurring patterns in relationships, stress and inner restlessness, internal conflicts, deepening the connection with your partner, self-worth and self-trust, feeling more free and authentic, conscious uncoupling, inner barriers you keep running into, and building relationships that feel more vibrant and nourishing.
What is conscious uncoupling?
Conscious uncoupling is a way of ending a relationship with love and compassion. It is rooted in the understanding that a relationship does not necessarily disappear, but changes its form. From this perspective, it becomes possible to close the chapter of a romantic relationship with care and transition into a new form of connection.
How much do the sessions cost?
I work with a sliding scale. It is important to me that my support is accessible to as many people as possible. The table below offers some guidance. If you are unsure which rate applies to you, feel free to speak to me directly.
The scale is based on a monthly gross income ranging from less than €2,000 to more than €4,000.
Individual sessions (60 min)
- One session: €110–€160 per session
- 3-session package: €90–€140 per session
- 6-session package: €80–€130 per session
Couples sessions (90 min)
- One session: €170–€220 per session
- 3-session package: €150–€200 per session
- 6-session package: €140–€190 per session
The Clarity Call, our 20-minute introductory conversation, is free of charge.
What happens in a session?
We begin wherever you are in that moment, whether with a current concern, a feeling or a particular situation. From there, we explore together what may lie beneath it: which patterns emerge, what your body is communicating, and where connection feels easy or more difficult. There is no fixed programme and no homework. You set the pace.
How long is a session?
Individual sessions last 60 minutes. Couples sessions last 90 minutes, allowing enough space for both perspectives and the relational dynamic between you.
Are the sessions online or in person?
All sessions are online via Zoom
What does the booking process look like?
You can book a free clarity call on my website and choose your preferred time-slot in my calendar.
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